Sept. 11

I will continue the Happy Monday theme tomorrow. I wanted to share with you my 9-11 story. I did not lose anyone in the attack. I did however lose the secure feeling. I have never felt so insecure in all of my life. I am not sure that I ever regained the safe feeling that the nation once had. Maybe we, as a nation, were never as safe as we thought we were. Maybe we are safer than we think now. I don't know and it angers me that I don't. Angers me not at our political leaders, but at those that felt it necessary to attack. I am not a believer that the public needs to know everything that goes on in the government. There are too many ignorant people out there for that to be a good plan, however I am glad that there are men and women that don't know everything and still sign up to fight for this countries freedom. A word that I am not sure I ever appreciated to the extent that I do now, post 9-11.

I never actually thought that I would exist during a history changing event. Sure things happen all the time that change history but something of this magnitude was never in my thought. Post 9-11..... I can actually talk to my kids about what it was like PRE 9-11. I don't feel old enough to have a story like that.

If you would prefer to skip this part I guess I will never know. I still feel the need to tell my part. So, here is my story...

I had class that morning. I got up a little earlier than normal due to morning sickness, that's tight I was pregnant with mini bubble #1. That was a good morning. The sun was shining, the air was beginning to become fall like, and there was minimal sickness. I arrived to class early only to find a note that the class was canceled for the day due to teacher family crisis. Well....That would have been nice to know an hour ago so I wouldn't have had to get out of bed that early. I guess I will go to the grocery store now and get it over with. I trek back to my car and turn it on. The radio announcer mentioned between songs that some reports had come in about a plane hitting one of the World Trade center towers a few moments ago but no further information was available. Man, those buildings can't catch a break. I get the few items I needed at the store: milk, bread, Coke, cereal, cheese, deli meat, and chips. That was fast. Nice getting here before the other moms and after the old people. I reach the cash register and the lady is talking about how she heard that there was a second plane that hit the other tower. An older gentleman said he thought he heard the same thing but was hoping he had misunderstood. Something's not right. Two planes, two towers, too soon. Go home Bubbles, NOW! I race home calling Mr. Bubbles the whole time. We didn't live too far from the airport and heard planes go over head all the time. Wake up! Wake up! Answer the phone. I was almost home and both reports had been confirmed. Controlled chaos was being broadcast on every station. I got home about the time Mr. Bubbles answered the phone. " We are under attack! Get up and turn the t.v. on. Call the neighbor and see if need be we can go with them. WAKE UP! Are you listening to me???! Two planes have hit the Trade Center towers in New York and an unconfirmed report just went out about one in D.C." I then burst through the door to see Mr. Bubbles standing there with sleep and confusion all over his face. I grab the remote from him and and turn on the t.v. there it was in all the madness. The flames, the replay,the announcers getting the nation up to date, the panic. All of it, every station. It seemed like an Orson Wells story. Mr. Bubbles hops in the shower to get ready for his class..... clear across town...near, too near a nuclear power plant, Oak Ridge. I beg him to stay with me and not go to class, but he had to. By the time he was ready and fixing to leave plans had been made for me to go with the neighbor and his wife to the military base and shelter for protection, and Mr. Bubbles would join us there, if.... That one little word seemed to carry the weight of the world. Then they fell. We watched in disbelief. (By the way, the neighbor was in the Army.) I spent the next hours alone in our little starter home alone with my thoughts and the telephone. Calling my parents and brother. Inlaws...need to call them and assure them we are ok...for now and have safety plans if... That word there it was again. I was going to tell my co workers about the pregnancy today. Should I still? Should I wait? It is a positive to the day. So much negative has happened maybe it will help. What have I done? I am bringing an innocent child into this, this, this what? What if... That word was starting to grind on my already raw nerves.

The only other thing I care to add to my 9-11 story is the following: I ran an after school daycare. The children knew something was wrong but didn't know what. There were a few older kids that heard. I had instructed the counselors to keep the age groups separate and keep it as normal as possible. No talk of the horrible events of the day amongst themselves because kids have an uncanny way of hearing things they shouldn't. It was not up to us to explain what transpired. Leave it to the parents. The counselors of the older group were instructed to listen to the concerns of the 4th and 5th graders if it was brought up and to defer, defer, defer to the parents. Attendance was low, many checking out during school hours. The slow motion button had been pressed early that day and it hadn't been returned to normal speed yet. My boss was there working on finances and support if needed. My salutation to the parents had always been " Have a great day. See you tomorrow!" Today was no different. Then my boss said maybe I shouldn't say that today and come up with something more appropriate. More appropriate??!! Like what? Hope we all survive the night? or how about ... I hope to see you tomorrow? Appropriate?? Is ANYTHING APPROPRIATE??!!!!!!!!! I didn't change my salutation. I didn't know if I would regret it later. I didn't know if...

As a side note I was later thanked by multiple people that I hadn't changed my demeanor that day. And that they appreciated the normalcy I depicted. Normalcy! Can you believe it?

And the rest is history, as they say. Whoever they are. I know you all remember where you were and what you were doing. This is just my story. Still fresh on my mind and still scary to me. I thought it was appropriate for today and probably won't be brought up again. Have a great rest of the week and please come back tomorrow for the Happy Monday segment.