Something for free

Ok all I thought that I would inform you on this Tuesday. I recieved an email that basically stated what I have cut and pasted below. Being the sceptic that I am on such things as forwarded e-mails....I researched it myself on www.snopes.com . I then went to the search section and typed in free 411 service and the folowing is what I found:




Free 411
Claim: The phone number 1-800-FREE-411 offers free directory assistance service. Status: True. Example: [Collected via e-mail, 2005]
-->Origins: One of the many changes that has taken place in the telephone industry in the last few decades is that while phone companies once generally provided their local customers with
free directory assistance (via the 411 phone number), in most cases telephone customers are now charged a fee (typically $1.00 or more) for each directory assistance call. Despite the charges, U.S. consumers continue to avail themselves of the 411 directory assistance service, placing about 6 billion such calls per year. Now, however, an outfit called Jingle Networks is providing an alternative directory assistance service — and it's free. Users who call the toll-free number 1-800-FREE411 (or 1-800-373-3411) can navigate a nifty automated voice recognition system that asks for a location (city and state), type of listing (business, government, or residential), and name. Once the service has located an entry for the requested number, it reads the information aloud and offers the caller the option of connecting to the number by pressing a single number on his telephone keypad. How can Free-411 afford to offer free directory assistance service? It works sort of like commercial radio or television — businesses pay to sponsor it in exchange for presenting their advertisements to customers. The funding of Free-411 is typically explained thusly:
The service is made possible by thousands of national and local businesses who sponsor this service with brief valuable audio advertisements that are played to callers who request businesses in their yellow pages category. This advertising model allows businesses to acquire new customers over the phone, cost effectively, with little or no risk. Meanwhile callers get free directory assistance, potentially saving each of them thousand of dollars per year. The way it works in practice is that a caller who requests a business number is first presented with a short (about 12 seconds) audio advertisement for a sponsor who operates a competing business in that area; the caller is then given the option of being connected to either that competitor or the business he originally requested. If no sponsor operates a local competing business, then the caller hears no advertisement at all. (In the latter case, if the caller accepts the option to connect to the desired number, the business receiving the call hears a short message at the beginning advising them that the call was placed via Free-411, and a Free-411 salesman may follow up with them a few days later to solicit them as a potential advertiser.) (Cell phone users concerned that taking advantage of the free directory assistance service will entail potentially giving out their cell phone numbers to telemarketers should note that federal law already prohibits certain types of telemarketing calls from being placed to cell phones, and all phone users can block telemarketing calls by listing their numbers with the national Do Not Call registry.) We made three separate trial calls to 1-800-FREE411 asking for information on different local businesses, and in each case the voice recognition system smoothly processed all our spoken information and correctly identified the businesses of interest. In only one trial out of the three were we presented with an audio advertisement.

Happy Monday!

I hope all is well and in moderately good spirits today. Here is another joke to brighten your day!HEY!!! I am a poet and didn't know it! LOL!!!!!!!


An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced black magic because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 68. His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow. Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?" The wife put down her drink and said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down..." My kinda woman!

Snoring and a story

Well I haven't had a good nights rest since about...... I don't know...What is today? HA! As I lay there tossing and turning, trying to drown out my husbands snoring with thoughts of my own, I started giggling at what came to mind.

Growing up I was lucky enough to have 3 out of 4 of my grandparents. Both of my Dad's parents were alive and my Mom's father still walked the Earth. My Mom's mother died of ovarian cancer years before I was even a glimmer in my parents eyes. I plan on telling you stories of all of them, in due time. Today's story has to do with Grandpa(paternal grandfather). I love them all and miss them and I believe it is stories like these that keep them alive in our hearts. I hope you enjoy.

My Grandma and Grandpa's house sat upon on a hill in a small mountain town. It overlooked the valley and river and if you looked in the right spot you could see the entire town all from his front porch. Grandpa would go out there everyday and sit there. "Watching the movements of the people," he would say. That usually preceded his "eye resting"! Grandma would just roll her eyes and continue reading her Reader's Digest. Then while Grandpa was resting his eyes she would sneak off into the kitchen and get a snack. When we were almost done with our treat Grandpa would come into the breakfast nook and fain hurt feelings that he wasn't offered any. It as all an act and a routine, and we all knew it, but it was still fun to play.

On some occasions we would get to spend the night. My brother took a bed in the dining room(yes I said the didning room). My Mom and Dad took Ozzie and Harriet beds in the spare bedroom and I got the extra bed in Grandma and Grandpa's room. It was an old house so my brother and I just figured that is how all old houses were, sleeping arrangement wise. Now this is the part that got me giggling last night.....

In the room where I slept beside my bed at the foot of it was a window. I always hated that there was a window at the foot of the bed that I slept in. I would imagine that someone was peeking in at my feet and was gonna try and come in and get me. Then I would reassure myself that it was silly because the window wasn't ground level and they would need a ladder to do that and I would be able to hear the ladder and then I could et up and run away before they made it in. The thoughts you have when you are little and stick with you through the years huh?! I would nod off to sleep eventually and then proceed to have nightmares of a wooly booger with a chainsaw cutting through the house. The dream would go off and on all night until I would finally wake up in fear realizing the chainsaw wasn't in the dream it was actually in the room. The chainsaw would sputter and get quiet and then start back up. When I got older I finally realized it was my Grandpa snoring. The sputtering was Grandma jabbing him in the ribs. The quietness was him waking up to the jab. Then the cycle continued when he would nod back off to his dreamland. When morning would come I would get up and crawl into the bed and snuggle with Grandma. Grandpa would throw his arm over us and trap us and I would try to lift it and the only way I could get us free was to wake up Grandpa. There wasn't one trick that would work every time, I had to come up with different ways to wake the chainsaw beast.

Over breakfast Grandma would ask how my brother and I slept. My brother never had any problems sleeping. I would give her the answer I thought she wanted to hear. We then would clean up the dishes and start breakfast number 2. The first round was toast or cereal with Grandma and Grandpa. The second one was orange sweet rolls with Mom and Dad. To say that there was a routine would be the understatement of the decade.

Years later when my Grandma was dieing and they were in a new house just down the road in the town that I lived in, my Grandma told me that she knew I was a fighter. I thought this was odd. I don't have a terrible temper and as far as I knew the temper I do have I was pretty sure she hadn't seen. So I asked her why she thought that. She then proceeded to tell me of the times that I spent the night with her and would talk in my sleep. I was always saying "NO." "Leave me alone." "Go away." etcetera, etceteras. I began giggling then too. I explained to her what was happening in my dreams and the thoughts I had before I had gone to sleep. I hadn't told anyone about this up until this point....except my brother. He, by the way, thought that I was weird until one night when we switched beds. Grandma and I laughed until we were in tears. She stuck by her original statement although there were other reasons beside the dream talking that gave her this idea. I don't know if she was right or not but I like to think that she was.

So that is the story. I have to be careful when I start reminiscing because I get carried away and tell things that aren't relevant to the original story. I have tons of these stories floating around in my head. If I get a good response from this one I just may have to tell some more.

Happy Monday!

As promised, another snippet of humor. Happy Monday!


A PRAYER....
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.
AMEN

Love...in color!

This photo was taken by Kat on July 4th, 2005. The day after our 6th wedding anniversary! You know ....just for confiramtion on my story! 

Love

A love that is true and simple, pure and sweet. Complicated in all the right places. He is a man(from Mars at times) and I...well.... I am a woman(and he claims I am from Venus). We fit. Total opposites in areas that you would think could break a relationship, but somehow it hasn't. The connection was there before either one of us admitted it. How could we know? We were in highschool. Does anyone know anything when in highschool? I had my priorities and he had his. Mine changed when I wasn't looking. His? Well, you will have to ask him.

The road to where we are now hasn't been smooth always. We detoured I think early on. Well, HE detoured and lead me down a road that was a dead end for me. HE continued on! I was left to find my way back to the beginning. Back to where I wasn't supposed to know the secrets of life. Back to where it all begins. I stalled. I couldn't move. How could this have happened?? How could I have been misled by, by, by what? By who? I was frozen in time. What was that? I heard something. Time passed and still the noises were louder. I saw something? Yes I saw something! He came back! He came back! He went on ahead and cleared the path and then u turned and came back for me. ME!!!! Not the others that he met while clearing that path but ME!!!! What was that saying about if you love something you have to let it go? Well I did. And he did come back!

This July 3rd will be our 7 year wedding anniversary! Ah yes.....the story is true. It is my story. Well part of it anyway. A love that is true and simple, pure and sweet. This is the love that I have.


*note to the readers---- this is a true spin on my real life love story. Please be kind!

Birthday!

I am now telling you my age! ACK!!! I liked this photo because It is kinda artsy fartsy....and you can't tell what I look like but I am working on that. The child in the photo is my oldest son. I was lucky that his little finger wasn't in the cake....he is known for this.....ask Kat!

Happy Monday!

I am gonna start posting funny things, to me anyway, on Monday. For any of you that work and check before, during, or after work on Monday....maybe it will help but a smile, or yes a smirk on your face for the day, even if it is briefly! Happy Monday!

AN OLD HILLBILLY FARMER HAD A WIFE WHO NAGGED HIM UNMERCIFULLY. FROM MORNING TILL NIGHT (AND SOMETIMES LATER), SHE WAS ALWAYS COMPLAINING ABOUT SOMETHING. THE ONLY TIME HE GOT ANY RELIEF WAS WHEN HE WAS OUT PLOWING WITH HIS OLD MULE. HE TRIED TO PLOW A LOT. ONE DAY, WHEN HE WAS OUT PLOWING, HIS WIFE BROUGHT HIM LUNCH IN THE FIELD. HE DROVE THE OLD MULE INTO THE SHADE, SAT DOWN ON A STUMP, AND BEGAN TO EAT HIS LUNCH. IMMEDIATELY, HIS WIFE BEGAN HARANGUING HIM AGAIN.COMPLAIN, NAG,NAG; IT JUST WENT ON AND ON. ALL OF A SUDDEN, THE OLD MULE LASHED OUT WITH BOTH HIND FEET; CAUGHT HER SMACK IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD. KILLED HER DEAD ON THE SPOT. AT THE FUNERAL SEVERAL DAYS LATER, THE MINISTER NOTICED SOMETHIONG RATHER ODD. WHEN A WOMAN MOURNER APPROACHED THE OLD FARMER, HE WOULD LISTEN, THEN NOD HIS HEAD IN AGREEMENT; BUT WHEN A MAN MOURNER APPROACHED HIM, HE WOULD LISTEN FOR A MINUTE, THEN SHAKE HIS HEAD IN DISAGREEMENT. THIS WAS SO CONSTANT, THE MINISTER DECIDED TO ASK THE OLD FARMER ABOUT IT. SO AFTER THE FUNERAL, THE MINISTER SPOKE TO THE OLD FARMER, AND ASKED HIM WHY HE NODDED HIS HEAD AND AGREED WITH THE WOMAN, BUT ALWAYS SHOOK HIS HEAD AND DISAGREED WITH ALL THE MEN. THE OLD FARMER SAID; "WELL, THE WOMEN WOULD COME UP AND SAY SOMETHING ABOUT HOW NICE MY WIFE LOOKED, OR HOW PRETTY HER DRESS WAS, SO I'D NOD MY HEAD IN AGREEMENT." "AND WHAT ABOUT THE MEN?" THE MINISTER ASKED. "THEY WANTED TO KNOW IF THE MULE WAS FOR SALE."

Following Directions

Why is it following directions,no matter how small and mundane, is so difficult for some to do. In my little family of 4 it is my husband and his clone(which also happens to be the oldest child) that can't seem to get the concept through their heads at times. My husband loses his keys on a daily basis I am pretty sure. Now this is not due to the fact that we have a key holder RIGHT BESIDE THE DOOR! When he gets tired of losing his keys he moves on to mine and adds a twist.....his wallet. What is it they say about geniuses?? Anywho....The clone. He is 31/2 and I am hoping for the rest of his 3rd year to fly by. He is driving me slowly crazy. I wake up in the morning expecting a good day and then WHAMMO! I find about 15 things that he did while I was still in bed. I get up early, but not before the buttcrack of dawn, which is still later than he gets up. In the past he would get up and look at books or play and sing, which was ok by me.....NOW he is Mister Sneaky. He snakes around in stealth mode seeing what all he can get away with and for how long. I am asking you all this.....is there hope? Can I change the track I am on to the insane asylum before it is too late? Sarcasm, gentle reminders, screaming, kicking, doing it for them, letting them fix it all on their own, ignoring, post its.......none of these work by the way. So all comments need to be other devices that can be used. Or do I need to go ahead and make my reservations and get fitted for the jacket?

Ok blog world. I am gonna try my hand at this for a while. I got really tired of MSN and it being really special! I hope that I get some regular readers here as I did over on MSN.......Maybe I will pirate some of Kat's over on Reflections. So if you all see some weird things happening here please feel free to tell me how to fix it.