Hmmm...
Have you ever thought something of yourself to be true only to find out that other people who are close to you don't think that? I recently did. I have kinda always thought myself to be the fixer of things. When people are mad with each other I try to make them make up and play nice. When there is an argument I am the one trying to appease both parties. At least I thought I did.
A couple of weeks back we were having a discussion about this very matter in Sunday school class. The question was posed "Are you a fixer?". I was one of the ones that shook my head yes. Mr. Bubbles chuckled. The chuckle he has when he disagrees but doesn't want to get into it right then and there. Then because of his snarky chuckle I began doubting myself and got a little embarrassed even though no one but maybe Mr. Bubbles knew it. I stayed quiet and listened to the meaning of being a fixer and I was pretty sure I was. This got me a little confused and irritated that I doubted myself in the first place.
Later, on our way to eat, I asked him why the chuckle to my answer to the question. He said he felt that he was the fixer. That I don't try to make things right. My mouth flew open and I started talking at a pitch that is unpleasant to my own ears. "I do too try to fix things!" Then the chuckle again. "Stop it! Why are you laughing?!!!" He made his point by stating that when we are having an argument he is the one that subsides and makes peace. Which a lot the time he is...I can't help it I am right 98% of the time. LOL! I then began pleading my case. He saw where I was coming from and said that I have a point. He doesn't "fix" things like that, just our stuff. He has been known from time to time to pipe up and try his hand at it but, in my opinion, when faced with opposition he lets it ride. I think he is a stater not a fixer. LOL!
All of this sounds silly, I know, but I was thinking about it again today. You all out there in blog land know me soooooooo well, so what do you think? Have you all thought something of yourselves and maybe even prided yourselves on it a little only to find out that others don't really think that? Am I not a fixer and maybe just a peacemaker? Are they one in the same? I can take it really. I am curious. I maybe bruised by this but I am resilient! LOL! Let me have it.
posted by bubbles @ 5/23/2006 08:59:00 AM
8 bubbles created
8 Comments:
It's funny you bring this up. The impression I get of you is of someone who is really sweet and kind and bubbly and fun... until someone or something makes you mad. Then nowhere is safe from your wrath. Do I have that right?
As for you being the fixer, maybe you are best at fixing those problems/arguments that you yourself don't have a direct stake in. Perhaps when you're involved in the argument, you don't have the necessary perspective to fix things or make peace.
I've had similar experiences to yours too. It's a bit jarring to think you're one way, only to have someone say, "No, you're this way". It's even more jarring when you realize they're right. ;)
hmm. well, i am not entirely sure, but peace making and fixing are two different things. Makeing everyone be nice and get along - that's peacemaking. Talking people into discussing thier problems and having them not yell.. being a good mediator, and having them be nice because they want to afte ryou have pointed it out? that's fixing.
so i don't know which one you do. But your husband is a peacemaker.. especially if he backs down.
You are definately a fixer/peacemaker for others. I think I've told you that before. Assuming they aren't on the your bad side. Isn't your brother afraid of you? ;)
I don't know you well enough to know if it's accurate. I don't know what people think of me. I'm not even sure what I think about myself. Maybe I should think about this. LOL
I know what you mean. I envisioned myself as very considerate, kind, and sensitive but my blog friends said I wasn't. So I killed them and got new blog friends.
I belive what kat said.....and hey what wrong with that??
Oh honey... I think we all go through this. I am the fixer often too... but in my marriage I felt the same way... I was right 98% of the time... not because I was mean, but because I just was...lol... but as far as.. the important stuff... I have always been the fixer in my family too and... *sigh* I understand where you are coming from.. I am sorry I am being so aloof right now. I am just having a hard day.
My impression of you is fun, happy, creative... I have not had ANY negative impressions of you at all!
wait... did that come out wrong...? I meant to only say, I was right in my marriage 98% of the time too... just cuz I am... it just works out that way... so I understand that...
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