Chili taste off

I know that it isn't Monday but we all need a good laugh in the middle of the week right. This is not intended to offend you Trucker. I was laughing so hard by the end my mini bubbles were asking me if I was ok. Enjoy!

CHILI TASTER DE-ORBITS... These are notes from an inexperienced chili taster named FRANK, who wasvisiting Texas from Cincinnati (Fairfield)... "Recently I was luckyenoughto be the 10,000th attendee at the State Fair in Texas and was asked tofillin to be a judge at a chili cook-off.Apparently the original Judge #3 called in sick at the last moment, andIhappened to be standing there when the call came in. I was assured bytheother two judges (Native Texans) that it would be a fun event and a truetaste of Texas hospitality. They assured me that the chili wouldn't beallthat spicy, and besides, they told me I could have FREE beer during thetasting, so I accepted. Here are the scorecards from the event."
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Chili # 1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili
JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
FRANK: Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove driedpaintfrom your driveway with it. Took me two beers to put the flames out.Hopethat's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
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Chili # 2: Arthur's Afterburner Chili
JUDGE ONE: Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.
JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I\'m not sure what I amsupposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to givemethe Heimlich maneuver. They had to walkie-talkie in 3 extra beers whentheysaw the look on my face.
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Chili # 3: Fred\'s Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili
JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.
JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.
FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest.I feel gas pockets shooting between my pelvic sockets. I'm getting shit-faced.
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Chili # 4: Bubba's Black Magic
JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish orothermild foods, not much of a chili.
FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable totasteit, it feels good on my chin. Sally, the bar maid, was standing behindmewith fresh refills; that 300 lb. bitch is starting to look HOT, justlikethis nuclear-waste I\'m eating. My nose is running profusely, I am fairlysure it is not blood, eyesight getting blurry...
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Chili # 5: Linda's Legal Lip Remover
JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, addingconsiderable kick. Very impressive.
JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admitthecayenne peppers make a strong statement.
FRANK: My ears are ringing, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, seriously. Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I amsupposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to givemethe Heimlich maneuver. They had to walkie-talkie in 3 extra beers when they saw the look on my face.
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Chili # 6: Vera\'s Very Vegetarian Variety
JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spiceandpeppers.
JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic.Superb!
FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,sulfuricflames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally.Ineed to wipe my ass with a snow cone! The sun is spinning and coloreddisksare flying out of it---I think I\'m having a religious experience. I\'mprettysure I just wet my shorts.
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Chili # 7: Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili
JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can ofchilipeppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about JudgeNumber 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursinguncontrollably and clutching his crotch.
FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world soundslikeit is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slidunnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like shit to matchmydamn shirt. At least during the autopsy they\'ll know what killed me.I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting any",
and four people behind me burst into flames. The contestant seemed offendedwhenI told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved mytonguefrom bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. It reallypisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks!
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Chili # 8: Helen\'s Mount Saint Chili
JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending... this is a nice blend chili, safe for all,nottoo bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild norhot.Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 passed out,felland pulled the chili pot on top of himself. Not sure if he\'s going tomakeit. Poor Yank.
FRANK: --------------(Editor\'s note: Judge #3 was unable to report)

Hmmm...

Have you ever thought something of yourself to be true only to find out that other people who are close to you don't think that? I recently did. I have kinda always thought myself to be the fixer of things. When people are mad with each other I try to make them make up and play nice. When there is an argument I am the one trying to appease both parties. At least I thought I did.

A couple of weeks back we were having a discussion about this very matter in Sunday school class. The question was posed "Are you a fixer?". I was one of the ones that shook my head yes. Mr. Bubbles chuckled. The chuckle he has when he disagrees but doesn't want to get into it right then and there. Then because of his snarky chuckle I began doubting myself and got a little embarrassed even though no one but maybe Mr. Bubbles knew it. I stayed quiet and listened to the meaning of being a fixer and I was pretty sure I was. This got me a little confused and irritated that I doubted myself in the first place.

Later, on our way to eat, I asked him why the chuckle to my answer to the question. He said he felt that he was the fixer. That I don't try to make things right. My mouth flew open and I started talking at a pitch that is unpleasant to my own ears. "I do too try to fix things!" Then the chuckle again. "Stop it! Why are you laughing?!!!" He made his point by stating that when we are having an argument he is the one that subsides and makes peace. Which a lot the time he is...I can't help it I am right 98% of the time. LOL! I then began pleading my case. He saw where I was coming from and said that I have a point. He doesn't "fix" things like that, just our stuff. He has been known from time to time to pipe up and try his hand at it but, in my opinion, when faced with opposition he lets it ride. I think he is a stater not a fixer. LOL!

All of this sounds silly, I know, but I was thinking about it again today. You all out there in blog land know me soooooooo well, so what do you think? Have you all thought something of yourselves and maybe even prided yourselves on it a little only to find out that others don't really think that? Am I not a fixer and maybe just a peacemaker? Are they one in the same? I can take it really. I am curious. I maybe bruised by this but I am resilient! LOL! Let me have it.

Freaky!

The other morning the oldest mini bubble was up and about. He is an early riser and does a good job of staying out of trouble until after Mr. Bubbles and I get up a half hour later. More times than not the youngest mini bubble wakes up and they play together in the nursery. All of this is normal. When all of a sudden the oldest blasts through the door all excited and telling me to come see. I get up and head for the nursery totally expecting to see a creation that he had built out of blocks or a house of books. Instead it was clean! All the toys were picked up and put away. The books were placed neatly on the shelf, neatly for a neat 4 year old. The babies dirty clothes were all in the hamper, a feat in itself...the baby like to play with the hamper. I was so proud of him! He looked at me trying to hide is excitement and says "Yeah I was feeling a little freaky this morning and thought I would clean. Actually I still feel freaky and I am going to do my room too!" I couldn't contain the laughter, nor could Mr. Bubbles, who was getting ready for work. A few minutes later out came the oldest wanting me to close my eyes and come to his room. Sure enough he had done the same thing to his room that he had done to his brothers. He even "decorated" his bed. Decorated in his world is making up the bed. I again express my pleasure and give him big hugs and high fives. Hoping the freakiness wasn't gone I ask "How do you feel now? The basement needs a little attention you know." He looks up at me with his big dark chocolate brown eyes and says "I am ok now. I don't feel freaky anymore, just hungry." LOL! Although he looks just like Mr. Bubbles this proves he has a little of his Momma in him. He cleans!!!!!! Have a fantastic weekend!

It's coming

This weeks HNT is forth and coming. Unfortunately I am at Kat's mercy for part of the HNT. PLEASE be sure to come back by later. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!

Randomness strikes again!

Sorry folks! I am trying to get caught up on all of the things I have been promising you guys. I think I will blab a little and then post some pictures.

I am not sure if you noticed but I changed the links a little on the sidebar. I am slowly adding people to it...I add you if you add and regularly visit me. Yes I know...I realize that I am a comment whore. LOL! I love the attention. I also LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT when I spark a discussion in my comments.

I was thinking about having another party here soon. Thought I would take on some ideas on the day and the theme. Yes there needs to be a theme. I can come up with either the theme or the reason but I want you all to come up with one...so get to it.

My Mother's day was fantastic. The mini bubbles got me a beautiful picture frame and Mr. Bubbles picked out an outfit. I wore the outfit to church for our mother's march. That was fun. Babies through 4 year olds were the ages that participated. We recieved a little book and carnation....i just love carnations. They smell good and last forever. I really do love them. Where was I? OH! Yes, after church we visited my parents and Mr. Bubbles parents.

I have decided to post an entire post dedicated to my oldests birthday party. So there is something to be looking forward to. And for all of you out there that want pictures on that...they will be included.

Ok now for the picture clean up on this particular post. The finished kitchen/dining area the flowers on the table were a surprise from Mr. Bubbles, a picture of mini bubles 1 &2 me and my parents (my Dad was afraid the boys were going to fall off the ledge i think...and the boys were giving him just reason LOL), and then a few silly shots of the mini bubblesand Mr. Bubbles...he ripped up his pants and then decided to make them look like a skirt...of course the camera was ready! I think he was about to burst with laughter in this one.

Fishing

When my brother and I were kids my Grandpa would take us fishing. Sometimes it was a family event with Mom and Dad coming along but sometimes it was just the grandparents and grandkids. I always liked those. I didn't do much fishing then. Grandma and I would take off our shoes and soak our feet in the cold mountain river. I can still feel the water as it inches around first my toes then my foot and lastly my ankles. It was always so refreshing, still is. My brother and Grandpa would be the ones actually fishing, using corn and worms. They would go up stream a bit or go downstream from us to do their recreation. Grandma and I were generally in a sunny spot and in shallow water so we weren't hindering the men. When I did decide to stick my line in the water it was always with corn. I didn't mind picking up worms but I hated putting them on a hook. It was just yucky to me, besides I had talking I need to do, LOL! The fish didn't always bite but it never bothered anyone. When we wanted to actually catch something Grandpa would call his buddy and take us to his pond. The fish ALWAYS bit there...we didn't keep them of course..but it was so much fun reeling them in and letting my brother or Grandpa take them off !

I miss my youth at times. All of my grandparents have moved on to Heaven. I am happy for them and I know I will see them again someday. My Mom and Dad have taken over the roles of Grandma and Grandpa, although that isn't what they are called. I can see the look on my mini bubbles faces when they talk about Memaw and Pepaw. It is the same look my brother and I had not too long ago.

Happy Monday!

We went out for ice cream one night this past week. I saw this sign and started giggling and making cracks about it. Mr. Bubbles saw it and joined in on the fun. Then the second picture happened right in front of us. I didn't know if I was going to be able to contain myself with the cracks that were being made about that one. I hope you see the humor in these. Happy Monday!
 

House cleaning!

I have so much to blog about and am not real sure where I am going to start and stop. This is going to be free style, willie nillie....whatever comes out comes out. Keep you hands and arms inside the vehicle, make sure you are buckled in....here we go!

I came in second place on the voting I had you all do this week. I lost by 2 votes. It is ok though, I suppose. The anticipation was still fun. Thank you to all that voted and shame on you if you didn't! LOL!!

I plan on doing a random picture post sometime today or tomorrow, Lord willing, of the kitchen and gardening, my new picture in the living room, and anything else I deem important. I also am going to do a couple of posts on my older mini bubble's 4th birthday and the dilemma that was presented to Mr. Bubbles and myself.

My gardening is almost finished. We put in 2 new beds that are all mine. The previous owners of this home of ours started some things and did a pretty good job. I like having something that is all mine. All my creation and doing.... with the small assistance of Mr. Bubbles braun. The plants are in that I am going to put in this year, with the exception of some hens and chicks.

I am getting all caught up on the house cleaning part. I keep things in order, not an easy task with 2 mini bubbles and a Mr. Bubbles. The youngest mini bubbles loves to help by creating more messes. The oldest mini bubbles helps with the cleaning when he feels like it. He generally is a neat kid just doesn't like keeping up with the pick up. Mr. Bubbles, well I don't know his deal. He can be helpful, but not all the time. Kat makes fun of how I clean things. I think she says I am a cross between Monica off of Friends and Bree off of Desperate Housewives. Both great shows and I just don't see that there is anything wrong with the way they keep things. LOL!

I wanted to remind you all to give your mothers a call this weekend...if you can't see them. It is Mother's Day on Sunday. Not that the retail stores would allow you to forget it. I don't like all of the commercialization they place on "holidays". Some of the sweetest gifts I have ever gotten were from the boys picking flowers out of the yard and bringing them to me with a big ole grin on their face. Corn flowers, dandelions, clover, and wild violets make a beautiful arrangement. So be sure to call up mom and tell her you love her. For those of you that can't do that any longer due to extenuating circumstances....find another lady and tell her. You will make her day. A strangers kind words when the kids are screaming in the middle of Walmart for reasons unknown make all the difference in the world to that mother. I know, the youngest mini bubbles likes to scream at times. Not angry or showing out...just screaming. I get the looks of disgust and bother all the time when he does that but then there are the looks of understanding. I love those looks. So be kind and dad's your day is coming.

A little fun

Kat had found this off of someone elses site. It was quick and painless. Fun too! Don't forget today is the last day to go vote for me!

A	Accurate
M	Mesmerizing
B	Bouncy
E	Exciting
R	Relaxed

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

GO VOTE!

Yes I am going to be bossy with this. I was nominated for something by whom I do not know...but thank you thank you! Please go vote....you have until the 10th to cast your votes.
Please excuse the profanity in the button...the sites doing... not mine. Please vote. I also saw that some of you have been nominated. Congratulations and good luck!

A party

Well today is the day many, many, many years ago that Kat was put on this Earth. I am getting Mr. Bubbles to watch the 2 mini bubbles and her two little reflections this evening and she and I are going to have a kid free dinner. I thought that I would also give her a little eye candy to gander on and off all day long. I hope I have chosen well. As a party favor there will be treats at the bottom for everyone. Be sure to leave a message here and on her space. Enjoy!




And here are the party favors: balloons, liquor, noise makers and of course cake!

a loop hole?

Several months back I decided to join the national do not call list. I was tired of being interrupted through out my day to answer solicitation calls. The calls generally came right as I got the mini bubbles down for their naps and inevitably the ring would arouse them....nosey little buggers. HA! So I jumped on the wagon and did as millions of others have done. I love it. I do not get those stupid calls from humans or computers any longer... until recently. I think I found a loop hole. A huge one if you ask me.

City Elections are coming up. I know this because of multiple clues. The most obvious are those tacky little signs littering peoples yards with names plastered all over them. I don't know who the electees are and I know the signs come down the night of the election...or when the results are in or something like that. I believe that is a city ordinance. Then it is on the news how so and so was at this place camping for the blah de blah.

Here is the loop hole I found. It is the other clue. Recording phone calls. Yes the loop hole is huge for city elections. They apparently do not have to abide by the NATIONAL DO NOT CALL LIST! Why? I know some of you are good American citizens and vote for everything, other than the presidential election....as I do. So please fill me in on why they are allowed to call with their stupid little recordings during nap time and harass SAHM(stay at home mom) and retirees and I suppose that there are a few SAHD(stay at home dad). I don't care if they are republican, democrat, independent, on the fence....I do not want to be bombarded at home by campaigning. I can turn the channel if the campaign is a commercial. I can listen if I want to. I can pretend that I don't see the signs on the road, or not. But please stop calling me. I have enough noise in my life and when I get it quiet I resent whoever is on the other end of the phone when it is interrupted. I feel this is only natural. It does not mean that I do not want to talk to that person but the shrill ring sets my nerves on edge when I am in the serenity of nap time. Then when I answer the shrill ring as quickly as possible and it is a recording for so and so I want to smash so and so's fingers with a hammer one at a time, one for each ring of the phone. I know I know.... a little on the dramatic side I suppose. It isn't like I would actually do it.

So this is the loop hole I was speaking of. Have any of you had this same problem or am I just one of the lucky ones? Am I being unreasonable for not wanting to be blasted by campaign items if I so choose, in the sanctuary of my home?

Happy Monday

As promised, a little humor to start your week off on a good foot. I will be posting more pictures of the kitchen soon. All theses things to do and so little time. A womans worker...especially a blogger...is never done! Happy Monday all!



There was an old man named Bozo, and all he had was a female donkey. One day he wins the lottery and gets $50,000. He doesn't know what to do with his money, so he decides to spend a night in a five star hotel. He asks for the finest room and starts going up the stairs with his female donkey. The manager sees him and asks where he's going with his donkey. "Anywhere I go, she goes." "I'm sorry, sir," said the manager, "but you can't take the donkey upstairs. Leave it down here with us and we'll take good care of her." So Bozo goes up to his room and opens the door. Everything is made of gold, there is a table full of food, and a huge television. He doesn't want to ruin anything so he takes his raggedy coat off and sleeps on the floor. The next morning the manager comes up to the room and asks how his night was. ''Great!'' replied Bozo. ''How much do I have to pay?'' he asks. ''One thousand dollars for the food.'' ''But I haven't touched the food." ''It was right there, so you should have. Two thousand dollars for the TV." ''But I didn't even know how to turn the damn thing on!'' ''It was there, so you should have. Five thousand for sleeping on the bed." ''But I slept on the floor!'' ''It was there. Your total is eight thousand dollars." ''You owe me ten thousand dollars for screwing my donkey.'' ''But sir, I didn't screw your donkey.'' ''It was there. You should have!''